I find myself on this Hallmark holiday contemplating the depth of love. As I am busy sending flowers, bath salts, cds and candies - I find there is left a void. These gifts say "i love you" or "i am for you" and "i love the way you laugh" but deeper still there is a longing to be sought after by one. A quiet desire to be known, accepted and even more to never be left.
There is a scene in "Lord of the Rings" we watched yesterday in church...Frodo is going off in a boat to take the ring, and Sam runs after him, yelling. Frodo says, no Sam, I am going alone. Sam, who can't swim begins to run into the water and without success, attempts to reach the boat. There is a look on his face as he is drowning, one of determination to live out his word, his commitment. Frodo comes back and pulls him in the boat, and looks at him in amazement, complete awe. Sam says, I made a promise to go with you, and I mean to do that.
No one is void this desire. We want someone to journey with us, fight for us, commit to us. I find that easily we look to a significant other, a best friend, a family - and I must say the feeling of true acceptance is completely intoxicating. When I take a moment to think, who is committed to me, faces come to mind, because without doubt, I know they are for me. It is powerful, because it is the closest earthly encounter we have to love of our Creator. Yet I would dare say these only subdue the true ache.
So as I worshipped my thoughts are consumed by His face, He is running after me. I feel skepticism, to hope this will quench my longing. It feels phenomenal today, but tomorrow I will ask Him again to scale the mountains for my heart and prove His faithfulness......and the awestricken fact is, He will.
As we all journey through life, attempting to love and asking to be loved, you can find me near.
Doubtlessly peer through these intentions
Hope for my best and offer your hand
Carry my armor when I am wounded
Ignore my scares and kiss my secret fears
this love makes me alive.
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