You have allowed me to walk this path....

Camping will do amazing things for a person, well definitely for me. Last weekend a new camping club was formed, 5 female campers (Blaze, Bushwacker, Tosser, ChaCha, and Breaker) set out to spend a nice evening with a fire and the ocean. Well the rain never quit and we found ourselves setting up camp on the beach and laughing hysterically over a campfire. Drenched. We spent the next 24 hours damp, and after little sleep and too much laughter we made our way home. My favorite part was cooking breakfast over a camping stove and having the neighbor come over and take our picture because he was so impressed that we survived in a fourman tent through this thunderstorm. It was great to feel gross and tired because it made me feel alive. I noticed that the coffee and sausage we ate that morning was the best I have had in awhile. Plush circumstance allow us to forget how great life is, how blessed we are....how good coffee tastes.

My second epiphany has been in my personal walk with the Lord. I have many times wondered if I am lost, maybe I got turned around or mixed up. I wanted to be great, but instead I am an unseen nobody. Somehow I have walked confidently into a world of insecurity and doubt. It came to me from a devotional, that when the Israelites were leaving Egypt because God had delivered them, they were chased right up to the Red Sea. Did they get there because they wanted to be there? No. God delivered them, led them out of captivity, to be halted in front of the Red Sea. Wasn't this what He said, isn't this where He led us?

I feel often that I have been going where the Lord is leading me and now I am looking up to find that I am blocked by the Red Sea.

Do I turn around? Swim? God, didn't You lead me here? And that is what He is telling me.
Christy, I allowed you to walk this path.
So what do I do now Lord?
You trust me and wait for me to open the Red Sea. Wait for me to deliver you.

Aud Lang Syne

2005 was christened along with my Kroeger family this year, we spent 14 hours at Epcot, dancing to the nationality of each country!! After 3 firework shows by Disney you are not sure if you will ever be satisfied again by a family firework session. We capped the new year morning off with wine and stockings in the RV (of course interrupted by the casual tourist who needed to use our restroom!

I was also up in Ohio for a conference which went well, but most of all I was able to play in the snow! I have learned that you can definitely get a soar butt from other things than a workout.

Christmas was filled with family, the zoo (which could be mistaken for my family), engagements (not mine!!), traveling, gingerbread RVs and the pingpong destruction method we chose! There was not a dull moment.

I think the sound of some structure sounds nice....well? So back in Orlando, covered with tsunami relief effort work and the regular "saving with world" tasks I perform. My friend Tran was in I was able to roadtrip a little with her this week and spend the day in the ocean.

I was provoked with this spiritual thought....why did God ask Adam where he was when Adam was hiding in the garden? was it because God didn't know where Adam was? no. God knew but He wanted Adam to share it with Him. God knows where and who you are, it is us who fully don't. All He is asking that we share it with Him, and why so in the process we find out where we are.

Gen. 3:8

They heard the voice of Adonai, walking in the garden at the time of the evening breeze, so the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of God, among the trees in the garden. Adonai called to the man, "Where are you"?

Running through a Winter Wonderland!

So I ran the half marathon....2:22 - not the best time ever, but I finished it! It was awesome as I ran through the finish line and I had friends cheering, I felt so alive!

Went to a Christmas party last night at Epcot -"Jesus" from Passion of the Christ narrated the Christmas story in the midst of a huge choir and orchestra - then it snowed, Disney made it snow right here in Florida, and after we watched a firework show! It was such an incredible night, it felt like Christmas.

I wonder if Jesus had any idea the extremes people would go to in celebrating His birth.


"Oh come, oh come Emanuel, and ransom captive Israel..."

To Belize and Back.....

Over Thanksgiving, I travelled down to Ambergris Caye, Belize to hang out with my dad and sister. It was so beautiful....we night snorkeled, fished off the boat, trolled out in the ocean, dove in the reef, ate lots of lobster. It was so wonderful. I learned how to clean out conch and make ceviche.

One night on our way home from fishing, we tried a new route through the back of the island, but we couldn't find the inlet back to our house so we searched for lights onshore that might seem familiar to us...as I looked over the silohuette of the town and different lights that marked different places in town, I thought of how many times in life we find ourselves coming on a new route in uncertain water, looking for the way home. The answer was in remembering the past and where we came from, and what we already knew, it is because of those markers in life that we can always find our way home.

I'm back in Orlando now, and getting ready for a half marathon this weekend! I ran 10 miles and feeling like 13 might be a bit much- we'll see.


Great peace have they who love your law and nothing can make them stumble. -David

Does everyone have an Awpa?

I received the most amazing email from my grandpa today, I love that my grandparents are my very best friends. There is something about having a person in your life who will always accept you and whatever you offer....and they won't sugarcoat it because they love you too much. I hope everyone has an Awpa & Memaw in their life!

Okay....so I ran 9 miles yesterday and well, it took me awhile, but done! All I know is that I am not sure I will be any good at capture the flag tonight. later.

What can man do to me?

I haven't written in awhile because my life has been completely insane. Between conferences and out of town friends visiting...I haven't really had alot of time. So! I leave next week to spend Thanksgiving in Belize with my dad and sister. Oh and for you who care about where I am in my half marathon training.....9 miles today - pray I make it. Okay, I have to run but I was pondering this verse this morning, and I think that I am telling God that man can do alot, teach me how not to fear it. I'll update more often!

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.

What can man do to me?

Borrow Mine

I haven't figured out how often to write on this thing, how much I should say, or even what is understandable to everyone....my life today is really good. I began the morning early, and I laughed when I saw my hair in the mirror - always meaning it is going to be a good day! I ran 4.5 miles yesterday with my friend Cristina (she has told me that next week we are running 6 miles...stay tuned to see if that actually happens!), and I am beginning to feel each day like I just might like myself alot. It is amazing that the only person we get to spend our entire lives with is God and ourselves. God is crazy cool but I'm still figuring out if I am excited about spending my lifetime with Christy. (a very important question to answer!)

So in all the pain and changes within my heart, I feel as if my passion for life has been lost, yet recently I get glimpses of it in people. Whether it is a hope that Autumn has in me, a letter that Beth sends me, a hilarious voicemail from Kinsey - it is in my friends that I find that I can borrow their hope when I can't seem to find my own. Maybe I am just realizing that life may be all about living fully and when you can't you must borrow if from someone who loves you.

I already have accomplished the greatest day I could ever expect. I did something this morning for a friend, and I know that she knows that I love her....and somehow I don't need anything else to complete my day - it is an amazing thing to give someone the gift of love. Sometimes I just babble when I start talking about this stuff, but I know the most powerful gift you can give someone at any moment is to show them they are unique, of worth and lovable. May we all live today loving.

Faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1Cor. 13:13

To be vulnerable or not to be...

This week has been a whirlwind, between birthdays, work, training (because I am training for a half marathon!) and meeting with people - I feel like my heart and my feelings are drowning in what I have deemed the pursuit of life. Full week and weekend. I am getting certified to teach spinning classes (cycling) so that should be an exciting adventure. I have tons of thoughts on Lamentations 3 but I will save it for another day....when I have more time.

Who has the right to comment on one's dreams?

While I tiptoe across your beating heart,

It is in these black and white screens I find you lost,

And fear that you might never see,

the hope which lives in each of the scenes.

-CAV

my heart...online?

so this is my first blog, i didn't really think I would want to do this but it will make it easier for me to let those near and far know where I am, in my heart that is! or physically...I am in Orlando, FL which I read yesterday is called the City of Dreams...funny, definitely not the title I would have given it. To catch those up on my life who I haven't been in touch with...I am on the up of a long year and a half hike here in Florida. God and I have walked through some hard places, and I feel I have scratched the surface of respecting and even embracing pain.

I heard this line in a teaching and it still resonates with me...."God would not take pain away from us, for it is too great of a gift."


More to come....